When we deal with a conflict in a close relationship, we often either treat others the way our parents treated us or we let others treat us the way our parents treated us. And the tricky thing here is that you then have a parent/child relationship and those dynamics, not an adult/adult relationship.
Which can be frustrating, to say the least. Right?!
What’s the way out, though?
First: acknowledge that the tools that you have been using so far are not the ones you want to use. And that practising new tools needs time, energy and effort.
Second: set the intention that any kind of conflict is an opportunity for you to deepen the understanding between the two of you. Challenge your immediate assumptions. Deal with your close relationships like you would deal with your best friend, stop turning them into an enemy. Focus on what you want the relationship to be.
Third: take the needed action despite the discomfort – it’s worth it. You are worth it. Your loved ones are worth it. You both deserve the best outcome of this situation: a solution that works for both of you and that lets you be adults.
I once read from a life coach (I think it was Martha Beck) that you cannot be authentic in one area of your life and be “only a little bit authentic” in another area of your life. And that really resonated with me.
I have found it really challenging to make such a shift in my close relationships, and sometimes I didn’t succeeded with not becoming a mom or a child for a moment. But that wasn’t terribly important because those who love you can handle a lot of your flaws.
The important thing here is to get out of that parent/child dynamic as quickly as you can each time that it happens. And to be forgiving to yourself and to your loved ones.
This is a healing process, and like any kind of healing process it will take as long as it takes.
I also want to point out that if none of your efforts work, energetically you might have an ancestral or past life related issue that’s underneath your relationship conflict. And this can be dealt with. Which is what my Spirit Guides and I can do for you with my healing work.
This also means that none of these conflicts necessarily mean that you have to end a relationship. Or that you cannot find your way back to a relationship that you already ended. It’s never to late for love, it’s never too late to heal, it’s never to late to forgive.
I help sensitive souls like you to heal the energetic aspects of whatever is blocking you from experiencing physical well-being, love and fulfilment in your life.
Find out more about my healing work and contact me for a Free Discovery Session here.