Do you lovingly hold yourself while having a so-called negative feeling like anger?
We all tend not to, especially women.
I used to either completely ignore my grumpy-ness or not allow it to be.
One way out for me was to explore this as a singer. I found out that when I hold back my anger while singing, my voice sounds really inauthentic and weird and people aren’t able to enjoy my performance at all. And that if I don’t hold back my anger while singing, my voice sounds very authentic and good and people enjoy my performance.
And I tried that out with over 100 students that I had while I was still working as a vocal coach, and it was true for them, too.
I think you can apply that to all situations in your life: the more you are in touch with your feelings and lovingly hold them, the more you are authentic and others can relate to you.
It doesn’t have to mean that you share why you are angry – especially on stage that wouldn’t necessarily make sense. As long as you know what’s going on inside of you, people are at ease about what they sense (more or less consciously from their part) happening on your end.
That also doesn’t necessarily mean that your anger is justified, plus when you hold it back you will never find out if it was justified or not.
And this also doesn’t necessarily mean that others will be offended or hurt by what’s underneath your anger, from my experience they never are – as long as you lovingly hold yourself.
And this is part of the Feminine and it’s magic: your ability to lovingly hold yourself no matter what you are feeling.